Love & Death
by Mala1
Summary: *COMPLETED* Jen has finally found her true love. Is it too good to be true? Set when Jen & Henry were together.
1. Death

SUMMARY: Jen relishes in her love for Henry before something bad happens. Set before Henry moved away. DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything to do with Dawson's Creek. I just love writing and Dawson's Creek. AUTHOR'S NOTE: One of the first fan fictions I wrote about Dawson's Creek. I always felt they never focused much on Jen & Henry when they finally got together. Here is my idea. Please read & review.  
  
PART ONE:  
  
Jen smiled at her boyfriend. They were sitting by the creek under a star filled sky. Jen had packed a picnic and they were now munching on freshly picked strawberries and fresh cream. Jen had never had a night time picnic before. She'd never wanted to have a night time picnic before. But things had changed. Jen was in love.  
  
"Do you remember what life was like before we met?" Jen whispered as she placed her head on Henry's shoulder.  
  
Henry stroked her short blonde hair. "No." he answered. "And I don't want to. Nothing matters to me right now than you and me."  
  
Jen smiled. For the first time in her life, she was totally and utterly content. No one had ever made her feel the way Henry did. And to think she wasn't even going to date him when he first asked her out.  
  
Henry looked down at her again. Jen sighed. He took her hand and kissed it.  
  
"You are so beautiful." he whispered.  
  
Jen turned to him and he bent closer to give her a kiss. Jen wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. They remained lip locked for the next 5 minutes until they needed to take a breath.  
  
"I'm so happy." Henry said as he pushed Jen back onto the rug.  
  
Jen curled up in his arms. She felt so safe and protected right at that moment. She felt like nothing could ever separate them.  
  
Henry picked up a strawberry and dipped it into the cream. He then fed it to Jen who giggled when some of the cream remained on her nose. Henry bent over and licked the cream off her nose.  
  
"Thanks." Jen giggled and pulled him in for another kiss.  
  
They lay back together with their arms wrapped around each other. Jen looked up at the sky.  
  
"Oh look!" she suddenly squealed and pointed up. "A shooting star!"  
  
Henry's eyes followed her finger and he smiled. "Now you have to make a wish. But don't tell me what it is or it won't come true."  
  
Jen looked deep into Henry's eyes and thought: I wish life will stay this way forever.  
  
Henry smiled. "You're looking awfully serious."  
  
"It's a serious wish." Jen replied.  
  
They stared at each other for a long time. Jen was feeling something building inside her. A need. A need for Henry. He could see the look in her eyes. He felt it too.  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked her.  
  
Jen nodded. "Yes, Henry. I am."  
  
Under the shelter of the trees, Henry pulled Jen to him hungrily. Jen met his lips with her own. She quickly but deftly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled him free of it. She ran her hands down the length of his chest. Henry groaned and pulled Jen down on top of him.  
  
"I love you." he said.  
  
"I love you." Jen whispered back.  
  
*  
  
Jen waved to Henry then quietly opened the front door of Gram's house. She closed the door behind her then snuck up the stairs and closed her bedroom door tightly.  
  
It was 6am the next morning and Jen didn't want Grams to catch her getting in at that time. She took off her clothes and left them in a puddle on the floor as she slipped into her nightgown. She then picked up her diary and sat down in the window seat she made herself.  
  
No one knew Jen kept a diary. She didn't think it would help her reputation if people found this out. But the diary helped her to overcome the many problems she experienced in her life. Although lately it was more of a celebration of the wonderful things that were happening to her. Largely thanks to Henry.  
  
Dear Diary  
  
Last night was the most wonderful night of my entire life. I will remember it always. I packed a basket and Henry and I had a night time picnic. It was the most amazing thing I've ever done. It was romantic and then Henry and I made love. That's right, diary. We made love. We didn't have sex, we didn't bonk. We made love. I know I did the right thing and I'll never regret it. I love Henry and I know we'll be together forever. In fact I made a wish on a shooting star that life will stay the same forever. So now it has too. I love Henry. Jen + Henry forever.  
  
Jen smiled as she closed her diary and placed it beside her. She couldn't believe how her life had turned out. She was never going back again. There was a new Jen in town. For good.  
  
*  
  
Henry turned his music up loud in his car and sang to the song. He couldn't believe he had a beautiful girl in his life. He couldn't believe Jen loved him. And he couldn't believe he'd just made love to the most beautiful girl in the world.  
  
His life had truly changed for the better. And it was all because of Jen.  
  
Henry took a corner and sped up the small street. He had to get home before his old man caught him getting home at this time.  
  
After having a quick look at the clock on his dash he took another corner. This time he didn't slow down as much and didn't see the car coming in the opposite direction.  
  
He looked up and saw the car. Cringing he swerved. Then he shouted out as a tree seemed to be travelling a hundred kilometres toward him. The car crashed through the tree, forcing Henry's head forward and smashing it against his steering wheel. The car spun, ending up in someone's front garden.  
  
The occupants ran outside and the sound of sirens pierced the early morning quiet.  
  
*  
  
Jen left her house at 9am to go for a jog. She was on a new health kick and wanted to get into shape. Dawson had been coming with her. Now he was waiting for her outside.  
  
"Hey Dawson!" Jen said with a grin as they fell in step together.  
  
"Good morning. You look awfully happy today." Dawson said.  
  
The smile stayed firmly on Jen's face. "I had a pretty wonderful night last night."  
  
Dawson grinned. "With lover boy Henry?"  
  
"Yes!" Jen said.  
  
They jogged in silence for a little while longer. Jen was thinking about the previous night when Dawson turned to her.  
  
"Hey, did you hear the news this morning?" Dawson asked, a serious note tinging his words.  
  
"No." Jen said, breathing slightly.  
  
"A boy was killed in a car accident. Hit a tree and landed in someone's front yard."  
  
Jen looked up. "Who was it?"  
  
Dawson shrugged. "They won't say because his family hasn't been informed yet. But they say he's 16."  
  
Jen frowned. "I hope it's no one we know. What time did it happen?"  
  
"About 6am." Dawson answered.  
  
Jen suddenly stopped short. "6am?" she asked, her face draining of colour.  
  
"Yeah." Dawson said, looking at Jen with concern. "What's wrong?"  
  
Jen began trembling and started running back to her house. "That's when Henry dropped me off this morning."  
  
Dawson took off after her. "It can't be Henry. You would've heard by now."  
  
Jen turned to Dawson. "They said his parents don't even know yet!" she shouted.  
  
"That was just after it happened. They'd know now."  
  
Jen ignored Dawson as she reached her house and ran inside. She picked up the phone and began dialling. Dawson stood beside her.  
  
The phone rang and rang. "Answer." Jen demanded.  
  
When it rang out she hung up and dialled again. Again it simply rang and rang.  
  
"He's not answering!" Jen exclaimed, close to tears.  
  
Dawson put an arm around her shoulders and sat her down on a chair.  
  
"I'm sure it's not him but I'll call the hospital and see if I can get the name." Dawson said soothingly.  
  
He picked up the phone and dialled Capeside Memorial.  
  
"Good morning. Capeside Memorial. How may I help you?" the chirpy voice said on the other end.  
  
"Yes, good morning. I'm after the name of a young man who was admitted to the hospital this morning after a car crash. We believe it may be a friend of ours." Dawson said politely.  
  
"I'm sorry." The lady on the other end said. "But we aren't allowed to release names of patients unless it's a member of the immediate family."  
  
"But it's his girlfriend who wants to know. We can't get in touch with him. Can't you help us at all?" Dawson protested.  
  
"I'm sorry. That's the law." the lady said. "Thank you for your call."  
  
"Thank you!" Dawson shouted as he hung up the phone. "I can't believe they won't tell me."  
  
Jen was trembling when Dawson sat next to her.  
  
"Jen you have to calm down. We don't know if it's him yet. Try his house again."  
  
Jen dialled the phone but there was still no answer. She felt like throwing the phone against the wall.  
  
"How about we go down to the hospital. They might be able to give us the information face to face." Dawson suggested.  
  
Jen nodded as she followed Dawson outside to his car. On the way they bumped into Joey.  
  
"Hi guys." she said, not noticing Jen's withdrawn expression. "What's going on?"  
  
Jen got into the car while Dawson stopped to talk to Joey. "We're just going for a drive. I'll give you a call later."  
  
Joey looked confused as she watched Dawson climb into the car. "Can I come?"  
  
"We won't be long." Dawson answered.  
  
He smiled at his girlfriend as he reversed out of the driveway. Joey watched with a perplexed look on her face. He hoped she would understand the brush-off. Right now Jen needed him. As he carefully drove to the hospital he crossed his fingers that it wasn't Henry.  
  
*  
  
"Why can't you tell us?" Dawson demanded at the administration desk. "We haven't been able to contact our friend or his parents. He was driving in the area at that time of the morning. We're worried."  
  
The lady shrugged. "I have to do what I'm told. It's illegal for us to give out any patient information. We aren't even allowed to release names. There is nothing I can do."  
  
Dawson glared at the lady then turned on his heel. He had no idea what to do and Jen had gone quiet. He was worried about her. He walked over to her. She was standing. Her face had gone completely pale as if she'd seen a ghost. Dawson rushed over to her.  
  
"Jen!" he said when he reached her.  
  
He watched as she slowly walked over to an older couple. She stopped about a metre from them.  
  
"Henry." Jen whispered.  
  
The older couple looked up at Jen when they heard Henry's name being called. They had tears in their eyes.  
  
"Oh, Jen." Henry's dad said. "We were just going to contact you. Henry was in a car accident and he........"  
  
"NO!" Jen cried out, interrupting him. "NO! NO! NO!"  
  
Dawson ran over to Jen as she broke down. She sank to the floor and began hitting the floor with her fists. She kept saying 'no' over and over again.  
  
"He died." Henry's dad said as tears began forming in his eyes. "He died."  
  
"I'm really sorry for your loss." Dawson said to Henry's parents. "Henry was a great guy. He meant a lot to Jen."  
  
Henry's dad nodded. His mother looked like she didn't know where she was. They walked away leaving Jen crying bitterly into the linoleum floor.  
  
Dawson sank down beside her and pulled her into his arms. People were starting to stare at them but all Dawson cared about at that moment was Jen.  
  
"I'm so sorry Jen." Dawson said sympathetically. "I'm so so sorry."  
  
Jen was crying uncontrollably. Dawson rocked her back and forth when a doctor came over to them.  
  
"I'm going to have to ask you to move on." the doctor said uncomfortably.  
  
Dawson looked up with disdain. He'd already had enough of the people in this place.  
  
"She just found out that her boyfriend died." Dawson said, trying to remain calm.  
  
"I understand that but this is a place of healing. I have to ask you to mourn outside. You're making too much noise."  
  
Dawson stood up to confront the doctor. "You're staff wouldn't give us the name of our friend who died. Then we find out it is him and you're kicking us out of the hospital? What kind of place is this?"  
  
"Lets not have a scene." the doctor pleaded. "Please just leave."  
  
Dawson looked down at Jen. She was lying on the floor, crying loudly and beating the ground.  
  
"If you can move her, good luck. If we were just told over the phone this wouldn't be happening right now." Dawson said.  
  
He bent down to speak to Jen. "Come on Jen, lets go. Lets go home."  
  
Jen kept crying and didn't move. Dawson grabbed her arms and tried to lift her up. The doctor helped him when suddenly she became hysterical. She thrashed her arms and legs and knocked Dawson over in the process.  
  
"Henry! No!" she moaned as she tried to get free.  
  
The doctor motioned for a nurse. The nurse came over with a large syringe.  
  
"Please don't hurt her." Dawson pleaded.  
  
The doctor held Jen down and the nurse deftly pushed the tip of the syringe into Jen's upper arm. Almost immediately the morphine took effect and Jen slumped to the ground.  
  
"She'll be okay." the doctor said to Dawson. "We'll put her in a room. It's just to keep her calm."  
  
Dawson followed the nurses as they carried Jen into a vacant room. He sat down beside her bed and laid his head on her arm. The nurse closed the door behind her.  
  
Dawson watched Jen as she slept. She looked so peaceful and innocent. He wondered what would happen to her as she got on with life without Henry.  
  
*  
  
Jen stood dressed head to toe in black with Gram supporting her. Jen could barely stay on her feet. She hadn't spoken to anyone and couldn't wait for the funeral to be over.  
  
"Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust." the minister said as he concluded the ceremony.  
  
Jen watched as everyone leaned forward to toss some dirt into the grave. Gram tried to push Jen toward it but she resisted. She didn't want to see where Henry now lay.  
  
As everyone began mingling Jen quickly walked away. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She wanted to go back to her bedroom where she'd been ever since Henry's death.  
  
"Jen!" a voice called as she hurried to Gram's car. "Jen!"  
  
Jen turned around as the person caught up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. It was Henry's older sister.  
  
"What?" Jen asked fearfully.  
  
No one in Henry's family had liked her so she was expecting the worst. Maybe even the blame for what happened.  
  
"Thank you for making Henry's last few months the happiest of his life. Despite the way we've treated you, we are extremely grateful for what you've done for him." Henry's sister said.  
  
Jen managed a crooked smile. "I should be thanking him."  
  
Then she broke down again. Henry's sister caught her and held her close. Then before anyone else could approach her, she left with Grams.  
  
*  
  
Back in her room, Jen tossed and turned on her bed. She couldn't sleep and couldn't stop crying. She had no idea what she was going to do without Henry.  
  
After what seemed like hours she climbed out of bed and pulled a box out from under it. It was filled with all her memories. Jen pulled out her prom ticket. It was her first dance with Henry. The night didn't quite turn out how she expected but it was memorable. Next she pulled out the rose that Henry had picked from her neighbours yard for her. It was during one of their many arguments. He won her over. He always did.  
  
Jen put it aside and picked up a photo of Henry and her. They had been arguing when Dawson took it. She could see that even though they were angry, there was still love in their eyes.  
  
Jen put the photo down and bent her head as the tears fell. She couldn't believe Henry was gone. Not her Henry. Why did he have to leave?  
  
"Why did you have to leave?" she whispered.  
  
Jen stood up and walked over to her window. She opened it and looked out at the night sky. She remembered the shooting star and the wish she made about everything staying how it was.  
  
"Why did you take him away?" she called out. "Why?"  
  
Jen broke down in tears once again. She couldn't handle this. Even the thought of life without Henry was driving her mad. How could she go on without him?  
  
Jen stumbled back towards her bed and tripped over the box still sitting on the floor. As she attempted to get up she noticed an old bottle of vodka lying on it's side. She vaguely remembered hiding it when she put her drinking days behind her.  
  
She picked up the bottle and sat on her bed, staring at it. She knew she shouldn't but she also knew the only way to forget everything for a little while would be to drink it.  
  
She slowly brought the bottle to her lips and took a sip. The vodka burnt a path down her throat and she coughed. She drank more of the vodka until the bottle was finished. By that time she was drunk and passed out. The bottle fell to the floor with a muffled thump.  
  
*  
  
"Is Jen in?" Dawson asked Grams quietly.  
  
Grams nodded, a frown creasing her face. "Yes she is Dawson. But she's been locked up in her room for days. I can't get her out. I'm so worried about her."  
  
Dawson entered the house and closed the door behind him.  
  
"Do you want me to try to speak to her?" Dawson asked.  
  
Grams nodded, again. "Yes, please. I don't know what to do now."  
  
Dawson climbed the stairs and stood outside Jen's room. He tried the door knob and when he couldn't turn it he knocked softly.  
  
"Jen? It's Dawson." he said. "Can I come in?"  
  
He heard no sound and knocked a bit louder. "Jen!" he called. "We're worried about you. Please just say something."  
  
Dawson turned to Grams who was at the foot of the staircase.  
  
"I'm worried. She's not saying a word. Should I force the door open?" Dawson asked her.  
  
Grams was silent for a moment then said. "Okay. What else can we do?"  
  
Dawson borrowed one of Grams' coat hangers and picked at the lock. Eventually he got it open. He pushed at the door and looked around. Jen's bed was rumpled and there were items scattered over the floor.  
  
"She's not in here!" he called out to Gram's.  
  
Suddenly he noticed an empty bottle of vodka lying on the ground. He picked it up with alarm and showed it to Grams. Then he realised there was a breeze in the room and saw the window open. 


	2. Love

SUMMARY: Jen relishes in her love for Henry before something bad happens. Set before Henry moved away. DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything to do with Dawson's Creek. I just love writing and Dawson's Creek. AUTHOR'S NOTE: One of the first fan fictions I wrote about Dawson's Creek. I always felt they never focused much on Jen & Henry when they finally got together. Here is my idea. Please read & review.  
  
PART TWO:  
  
"Lah di dah......." Jen sang as she wandered along the edge of the creek. "Lah di dah dah dah dah."  
  
She kicked her shoes off and took another scull of the bottle of whiskey. Jen wandered along the banks of the creek, allowing the small waves to wet her bare feet. Jen laughed and lifted her arms up in the air. She'd hadn't felt this good in ages. The cool breeze lifted her blonde bangs off her forehead.  
  
After taking another swig of the whiskey bottle, Jen sat down on the grass and looked up at the stars. She remembered how, just a few days ago, she had sat on this very spot looking at the stars with Henry. She remembered how sweet and gentlemanly he behaved and how tenderly he'd made love with her - as if it wasn't his first time.  
  
Jen suddenly stood up as tears overcame her. "It's not fair. He's mine and you took him away from me. He's mine........he's mine....."  
  
Jen broke down and dropped the bottle of whiskey on the ground. She ignored it as it rolled down the bank to the water. Jen buried her face in the grass as her tears soaked the soil underneath. She knew she would never be the same again.  
  
"Ever since I've been in Capeside, I've experienced death." Jen sobbed, thinking of her friend Abby Morgan. "This place is cursed for me."  
  
She stood up and reached for the whiskey bottle. She saw it sitting in the muddy water & she picked it up. She sighed with relief when she saw it still had alcohol in it.  
  
"My best friend." she smiled as she patted the side of the bottle then sculled the remaining liquid left.  
  
She swayed from side to side as the alcohol started taking affect.  
  
"I love you Henry." she whispered as she fell unconscious. ****************** "Try the creek." Grams urged. "She and Henry had a special spot there."  
  
Dawson squealed to a spot in the creek parking area and jumped out of the car. He walked down to the edge of the water and scanned the length of the banks. As he got closer to the docks, he saw a sheltered area just further on. He remembered going there with Joey when they wanted to be alone. As he got closer, he saw a prone body lying on the grassy bank.  
  
"Jen!" he called out.  
  
When she didn't reply he ran over to her and bent down by her side.  
  
"Please be alive, please be alive." he murmured as he checked her pulse then breathing. "Okay, you're still alive so you probably just drank yourself into unconsciousness."  
  
Dawson stood up and picked Jen up in his arms. Slowly he carried her to the car and saw the shock in Grams eyes as she held open the rear door for him.  
  
"It's okay Grams. I checked her pulse and breathing and it's fine. I think she just drank a bit too much."  
  
Grams put her hand on her heart and looked up into the sky. "Should we take her to hospital?"  
  
Dawson shook his head. "I don't think so. I don't think she'd like to wake up where Henry died."  
  
Grams reluctantly agreed as they drove back to the house, wondering what tomorrow would bring. ******************* Jen opened her eyes as bright sunlight fell across her. A massive headache forced her to close her eyes and she groaned. The last thing she remembered from the night before was buying a big bottle of whiskey and taking it down to the creek.  
  
She opened her eyes again and saw she was still wearing the clothes from the previous night. She looked around the room but couldn't see the bottle of whiskey.  
  
"Where did I leave it?" Jen asked herself. "Abby always told me that if I don't do anything else, I shouldn't ever forget where I left my alcohol."  
  
Jen smiled as she thought about Abby. Even though Abby drove her crazy most of the time, Jen always had a blast with her.  
  
Her reverie was startled by a soft knock on the door.  
  
"Who is it?" Jen called out, her voice raspy.  
  
"It's Dawson." Dawson replied. "Are you decent?"  
  
"Yes." Jen replied with a frown. "But I want to be alone."  
  
Dawson ignored her request as he kicked the door open. He was holding a tray containing a steaming cup of coffee and a buttered muffin.  
  
"Want breakfast?" he asked as he put the tray on the table beside her bed and sat down.  
  
"Not really." Jen answered and lay back down with her back to Dawson.  
  
"Jen, I know the last few days have been tough since Henry's death." Dawson started carefully. "But drinking isn't the answer. Do you really want to go back to your old ways?"  
  
"You have no idea Dawson. Your life is so perfect. You've never experienced the loss of someone who loves you so unconditionally and so thoroughly." Jen fell silent as tears threatened to spill.  
  
Dawson sighed and laid a hand on Jen's shoulder. "Of course I don't understand. I don't pretend I do. But I do know that Henry would not want you to go back to your old ways."  
  
Jen didn't say anything so Dawson stood up.  
  
"You always say that Henry changed you and that you'd never go back because of him." Dawson paused as he reached the doorway. "Actions speak louder than words. And right now your actions are contradicting your words."  
  
Dawson left the room and Jen started crying. She didn't know what to do. The only way for her to dull the pain was to drink alcohol. She didn't know how to stop.  
  
Jen sat up and reached for the coffee. She noticed there were words printed on the napkin by the muffin. With interest, she picked up the napkin. 'AA' was written in bold capital letters and the phone number underneath.  
  
Tears fell from beneath Jen's eyelids.  
  
"My name is Jennifer Lindley. And I'm an alcoholic." she whispered. ****************** Jen clutched the bright red roses to her body as she tip toed her way through Capeside Memorial Cemetary. She could barely remember Henry's funeral so she was using a map as a guide to his grave.  
  
She finally reached the spot and sat down. She lovingly placed the roses against the head stone as she read the inscription.  
  
'Goodbye to a loving son, a loving brother, and a special friend.  
  
He will be forever in our hearts.'  
  
Jen sighed as she thought about how special Henry was to her. Even though she was on the road to recovery, she still felt like taking a drink whenever the pain of her loss got to her.  
  
"Henry, I can't believe you're gone. My life will never be the same. But in a good way. You changed me. You made me realise what is important in life. And believe me when I say that I'll never let you down."  
  
The tears started to fall from Jen's eyes. "I love you and I always will."  
  
THE END 


End file.
